I see a little boy with golden waves bouncing in the early summer wind. He has a handful of the colored buds dangling to the stems. His excited hands give there best effort to be gentle with his collection he plucked from the woodsy trail. A smile so innocent and glowing with playfulness shouted out to me, "Here Mommy. Some pretty flowers." Nature's confetti sprung from the ground now decorate my hair. This little child decorates my life.
Moments like this is when I think of him in awe and splendor... my thoughts race as my heart absorbs these young years of whirling, whimsical childhood days. I fall so deep and full of love for this boy I grew inside me and held to my bosom to feed. I prayed for growth and wisdom in him and as the years pass me by, I am proud of he and I and the maturity we've stowed upon the other. The sweet innocence of him now is as magical as his first breath outside my womb.
Some nights, I pray like a beggar that he won't grow into someone who loses that sweetness and innocence. I hope he never sees these dandelions as weeds or the rain that supplies their life as dreary. I hope his years are full of splash puddles and nature's little somethings that sprout from the cracks in hard clay. I hope this is how he sees the world always. I hope he feeds his soul with wonderful things like swimming in rivers with friendly freckled faces and picks pretty souvenirs from the ground and gives them to the people with souls that move his own. I hope he fills his life with art, music, and such spiritual curiosity that it brings him back to his Maker. I hope his eyes see far and wide to take in the colors of the world and finds humor in places many forget to look for it. May his life be delightful and filled with real human connections in a world far more focused on dividing us than bringing us together. I hope he sees far more on the horizon than he does in a screen and I hope he can always discern the difference in being a good human and making a bad mistake.
With dimpled grins and full-bodied laughter, he will crush fears and tear down walls of injustice and hate. I hope he builds a place of sanctity somewhere to find solace and an escape. He will always know the one I have built for him. Home. In my nest he will always have a place to belong. While he is under my wing he will learn to love people, keep an open heart and open mind, but to stand firm in what he believes.
The constant wishes and hopes for my son never end - and like the dandelion bracelet that now circles these arms that hold him, my love will never end. Our bond forever unbroken.
Stay, Son
Baily Jones
March 2019
Sunday, March 31, 2019
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
Welcome To My World
Hello! Some of you may follow my other blog - "Just Jones It: College Edition" - but you may not if you get sick of consistent praises to Alabama Football and North Carolina Basketball. So, this one won't be about sports, if I can help it.
I'm a student at The University of Alabama and I'm majoring in Early Child Development. My passion is working with children with special needs.
I'm a true believer that every life was made for a purpose and that every child deserves unconditional love. My life will be in pursuit of equality and non-discrimination for children with disabilities. I hope to one day adopt a baby born with Down syndrome. If any of you have ever spent even just a few moments with such a special child, you would know what I am talking about when I say that the whole, big world will become a better place because of the small, simple kindness, love, and purity that children of all shapes and sizes and IQ levels bring to it. For those, in theirworld, who do not know this kind of zest for life that children with special needs do, or who believe a genetic defect defines a person in society, then I truly feel sorry for them and believe their "perfect genetic coding" defines them as society's most defected. In my world at least.
I believe that drive and hard-work amount to being successful. But I believe more in perserverance. I think the more times someone gets knocked down, as long as they get back up each time and try again - they are the most successful. Just because one person had a harder time getting to a certain place, they are just as successful and deserving of it as the person in that same place who had an easier time getting there.
I believe in standing up for what you believe, even if you're the only one standing. No matter how different you are, how stupid you look, or how lonely you are, as long as you're standing for something, you'll stay up. But if you have nothing to stand for, you'll fall for anything.
I admire the person who stands out in a crowd. I admire the one who thinks creatively, the one who surpasses the text-book version of things and creates new ideas, and the one who intrigues us all even if we're looking at them like they are the biggest freak we've ever seen - hey, at least we're looking!
I think the past defines the future, your friends are the family you chose, and your family are the friends you want the most.
Giving credit to people who shape our world can make us all a little better people. We're not supposed to live our life in routine, day-by-day, for the same reasons over and over. We're supposed to be inspired, change the things that are wrong and continue the things that are right, and in the end, we're meant to be the ones who inspire the ones we leave behind.
I think you can learn a lot by learning about your family - the biology of it, the psychology of it, and the emotions of it. Your family defines you and you define your family - no matter who it is that you consider family.
There's a little bit about me and a glimpse into my world. I'm going to write about the things going on my world, the things I like, the things I don't like, and the things I can not change but can learn from.
Peace. Love. Happiness.
-BJJ
I'm a student at The University of Alabama and I'm majoring in Early Child Development. My passion is working with children with special needs.
I'm a true believer that every life was made for a purpose and that every child deserves unconditional love. My life will be in pursuit of equality and non-discrimination for children with disabilities. I hope to one day adopt a baby born with Down syndrome. If any of you have ever spent even just a few moments with such a special child, you would know what I am talking about when I say that the whole, big world will become a better place because of the small, simple kindness, love, and purity that children of all shapes and sizes and IQ levels bring to it. For those, in theirworld, who do not know this kind of zest for life that children with special needs do, or who believe a genetic defect defines a person in society, then I truly feel sorry for them and believe their "perfect genetic coding" defines them as society's most defected. In my world at least.
I believe that drive and hard-work amount to being successful. But I believe more in perserverance. I think the more times someone gets knocked down, as long as they get back up each time and try again - they are the most successful. Just because one person had a harder time getting to a certain place, they are just as successful and deserving of it as the person in that same place who had an easier time getting there.
I believe in standing up for what you believe, even if you're the only one standing. No matter how different you are, how stupid you look, or how lonely you are, as long as you're standing for something, you'll stay up. But if you have nothing to stand for, you'll fall for anything.
I admire the person who stands out in a crowd. I admire the one who thinks creatively, the one who surpasses the text-book version of things and creates new ideas, and the one who intrigues us all even if we're looking at them like they are the biggest freak we've ever seen - hey, at least we're looking!
I think the past defines the future, your friends are the family you chose, and your family are the friends you want the most.
Giving credit to people who shape our world can make us all a little better people. We're not supposed to live our life in routine, day-by-day, for the same reasons over and over. We're supposed to be inspired, change the things that are wrong and continue the things that are right, and in the end, we're meant to be the ones who inspire the ones we leave behind.
I think you can learn a lot by learning about your family - the biology of it, the psychology of it, and the emotions of it. Your family defines you and you define your family - no matter who it is that you consider family.
There's a little bit about me and a glimpse into my world. I'm going to write about the things going on my world, the things I like, the things I don't like, and the things I can not change but can learn from.
Peace. Love. Happiness.
-BJJ
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2009
The Little Things
I have always found myself guilty of not looking at the 'big picture' in many situations. Even though I am not one to pay much attention to details, I am one to dwell on the 'little things'. Sometimes, this habit is a good thing; I can find happiness and warmth in knowing that someone noticed the little things in life that make me happy. Other times, it is a bad thing; I dwell on the partiality in many cases. I've observed this self-behavior in all areas of my life - friends, relationships, school, family, my interests.
The other day I got to thinking, do other people notice this behavior of mine? I wonder if it is a barrier in some of my relationships with friends, family, and love interests. On the other hand, I wonder if it is something that can be seen as admirable. I obviously don't know the answer to this question. All I know for sure is, I am glad that I am able to pinpoint the behaviors I portray because, in my opinion, it is the only way I can move forward in my quest for self-discovery. Most importantly, I must look at the pro's and con's of my personality as a whole. The problem here is, looking at something holistically is my inner conflict in the first place.
I have always remembered that there is a difference between confidence and being conceited. In my younger years, coming across people who were conceited and self-indulgent seemed to happen more often than now. I can assume the reason behind this is the fact that most people have been knocked on their asses (for lack of better words) a few good times. In these cases, most people seem to rely on confidence to get back on their two feet and after a few good stumbles the conceit eventually goes away. Unfortunately, confidence can go away when people stumble as well. This, in fact, is why I am grateful for the confidence I still have because let's be honest - I've hit rock bottom a time or two. Admitting that I struggle when it comes to looking at 'the big picture', I can truthfully say that the 'little things' are usually the main reason behind my comebacks. In my life, failure could be more dominate if it were not for the many small gestures from friends, or the notes of encouragement I receive in the mail from my mother, or a bouquet of flowers sent from someone at home. The confidence that comes from random acts of kindness is exactly the kind of confidence that empowers success and diminishes failure. The 'little things' are without a doubt an important part in creating the big picture.
In my life there are so many 'little things' that I can recall. When my sister and I open presents to one another on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas. Seeing a young child place a dollar bill in the offering plate on Sunday morning. The feel of a new pair of socks. A dance with Daddy. The smell of my house in Florida. Sunflowers and Daisies. Mom's Key lime pie. The way my brother-in-law looks at my sister. The inside jokes only shared with my best friend and when a boy opens the car door. The little things that are sometimes over-looked in the hustle and bustle of every day life. Sometimes, slowing down and giving a thankful nod to the things that get me through each day is exactly the relief I need. Even more so when I am fighting through a troublesome phase in my life; those times are when I need the 'little things' more than anything in the world and I must say that I am fortunate that the random acts show themselves and carry me through.
Having a father who was diagnosed with cancer was the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. Sitting in the chair next to him during his chemotherapy treatments, conversations about life, and his appreciation when I would attempt to make him a smoothie or juice drink, were what got me through the toughest of days. Giving away my sister to be married was emotional but a monogrammed handkerchief she wove in to the stem of my bouquet reminded me she was only changing her name, not changing all together. The simple gesture was a reality that she would always care about me and look after me. Chicken nugget Happy Meals with my grandmother on Fridays. The Hershey kisses that are always at my bedside when I spend the night with Nana and Papaw. My favorite beer in the refrigerator when I visit my Aunt and Uncle. The way 'Miss Bai' sounds coming from the excitement of the children I nanny. Walking through Christmas lights and dying eggs at Easter.
I swear I could write a book by just listing the little things that give me hope, help me keep the faith, and reassure me that I am loved. It's good for the heart, even when broken or jaded. It's an easy way to put an honest smile on your face. Giving recognition to the 'little things' helps you remember that the big picture isn't so bad after all... no matter where you are in life. Nonetheless, it is a way to rebuild your confidence and give you something to be grateful for - and let's not kid ourselves, we all need that once in a while.
-bjj
the 'other' sister
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2009
Far Away Eyes
Regarding my anatomy I fall in to the category of being a "Right-Brain Thinker." In all aspects of my cognitive development that began before my fetal self decided on my gender, my genes and chromosomes had determined that I would be the sort of thinker and learner that is creative in language, writing, random thought, abstract views, and subjectivity. When you really think about it, and have Human Development, Psychology, and Family Studies text books surrounding you, it's funny how the way we do things and who we are isn't just by some random chance or coincidental occurrence. We are who we are because of a lot of things. Yeah, my DNA holds in every little cell in my body the blueprint for my dark brown eyes and dirty blonde hair. My DNA gave me thick eyebrows, pouty lips, chicken legs, and oddly curvy feet. A handsome father and a beautiful mother.
I'm more than thick dirty blonde hair and skinny little legs. It's the life-span, the whole concoction of family, friends, culture, environment, experiences, and morality. These things make us who we truly are.
In my life, I find myself wishing that some of my relationships, with friends or family or boyfriends, were different or that I would have handled certain life experiences in a different way. It's a mind-teasing thing to sit in deep thought at what might have played out differently if things would have been done in another way. The stillness of such deep thought can send you into painful regret or grateful relief. It spins you in circles until you can't bear the thought anymore and sometimes it just stands still in a flood of nostalgia. Whichever way you look at it, the human mind always wonders what could have been or why did I do this and not do that. Then, after we take on the beating from all the theory, memory and wonder, we find it in ourselves to say we mustn't live in the past and we should worry about today. Didn't someone once say, "Today is a gift, that's why we call it the present" and somehow we were all supposed to do just that despite how hard it is to do.
The cliched statement is pretty off the lips, but what does it make of the past? The pot of gold or a lump of coal? And what is the future? They tell us 'the future is in our hands' but yet we are encouraged not to "worry" about it? Or "dwell" on the past? That gets you to where I am today -- sitting in stillness with the whole 'nostalgic wondering gaze' thing happening and writing down my contemplations on whether or not I understand who I even am or what this world means for me and my purpose here.
Everyone wants to put things in sequence. You know what I mean - beginning, middle, and end. Past, present, future. But why? Isn't life just a cluster of experiences that we either enjoy, hate, regret, long for, and embrace? Maybe in my 'Right-Brain' mind I just look at it and think - life just is.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think we're all just floating around in some black hole. I believe in God and His son. I believe in their divine power and I forsake all others when it comes to faith in a higher power. This aspect of who I am is what makes looking at things - past, present, and future - with a sense of security that there is a purpose to everyone and a reason for everything. So, there is a purpose to sitting alone on a moonlight porch thinking about the past. There is a reason for feeling stuck in the past or overwhelmed at the thought of an uncertain future.
I've walked around for a couple of weeks with a blank stare. I've been that girl with far-away eyes. I'm not sad, angry, emotionally unstable, or anything of the sort (I think). At least not right now. The far away eyes have not been a lens of despondence but simply from a state of utilizing this abstract mind I was born with. I've taken in things and thought about things that at one point I forgot to reflect on or embrace critical thought toward. For a right brain dominant person, I start glitching from mental overload when I avoid thought processes that are needed. I simply cannot handle a life free from reflecting on the past and meditatng on the future. Somehow and someway those thoughts and feelings find a way to express themselves in art, writing, poetry, song, or dance. I am right brained. I try to live in the present but neglecting the past and future robs me of some source of happiness, internal struggle and resolution, true joy, true sadness, and personal achievement. Therefore, I celebrate who I am and I give the past and future their credit.
I fight the current, from shorelines of my past and throughout the journey towards a distant shore. I keep my head above the water but eventually will surrender to letting it carry me away. That's when the divine power saves me and directs me. Life in all it's stages is truly a beautiful voyage despite the busted ships at sea.
-BJJ
The 'Other' Sister
I'm more than thick dirty blonde hair and skinny little legs. It's the life-span, the whole concoction of family, friends, culture, environment, experiences, and morality. These things make us who we truly are.
In my life, I find myself wishing that some of my relationships, with friends or family or boyfriends, were different or that I would have handled certain life experiences in a different way. It's a mind-teasing thing to sit in deep thought at what might have played out differently if things would have been done in another way. The stillness of such deep thought can send you into painful regret or grateful relief. It spins you in circles until you can't bear the thought anymore and sometimes it just stands still in a flood of nostalgia. Whichever way you look at it, the human mind always wonders what could have been or why did I do this and not do that. Then, after we take on the beating from all the theory, memory and wonder, we find it in ourselves to say we mustn't live in the past and we should worry about today. Didn't someone once say, "Today is a gift, that's why we call it the present" and somehow we were all supposed to do just that despite how hard it is to do.
The cliched statement is pretty off the lips, but what does it make of the past? The pot of gold or a lump of coal? And what is the future? They tell us 'the future is in our hands' but yet we are encouraged not to "worry" about it? Or "dwell" on the past? That gets you to where I am today -- sitting in stillness with the whole 'nostalgic wondering gaze' thing happening and writing down my contemplations on whether or not I understand who I even am or what this world means for me and my purpose here.
Everyone wants to put things in sequence. You know what I mean - beginning, middle, and end. Past, present, future. But why? Isn't life just a cluster of experiences that we either enjoy, hate, regret, long for, and embrace? Maybe in my 'Right-Brain' mind I just look at it and think - life just is.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think we're all just floating around in some black hole. I believe in God and His son. I believe in their divine power and I forsake all others when it comes to faith in a higher power. This aspect of who I am is what makes looking at things - past, present, and future - with a sense of security that there is a purpose to everyone and a reason for everything. So, there is a purpose to sitting alone on a moonlight porch thinking about the past. There is a reason for feeling stuck in the past or overwhelmed at the thought of an uncertain future.
I've walked around for a couple of weeks with a blank stare. I've been that girl with far-away eyes. I'm not sad, angry, emotionally unstable, or anything of the sort (I think). At least not right now. The far away eyes have not been a lens of despondence but simply from a state of utilizing this abstract mind I was born with. I've taken in things and thought about things that at one point I forgot to reflect on or embrace critical thought toward. For a right brain dominant person, I start glitching from mental overload when I avoid thought processes that are needed. I simply cannot handle a life free from reflecting on the past and meditatng on the future. Somehow and someway those thoughts and feelings find a way to express themselves in art, writing, poetry, song, or dance. I am right brained. I try to live in the present but neglecting the past and future robs me of some source of happiness, internal struggle and resolution, true joy, true sadness, and personal achievement. Therefore, I celebrate who I am and I give the past and future their credit.
I fight the current, from shorelines of my past and throughout the journey towards a distant shore. I keep my head above the water but eventually will surrender to letting it carry me away. That's when the divine power saves me and directs me. Life in all it's stages is truly a beautiful voyage despite the busted ships at sea.
-BJJ
The 'Other' Sister
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